Love & Fear

fear or love

 

Good morning lovees~ So this is me, first thing up in the morning, sitting on the balcony of our hotel room where we are staying in Puerto Vallarta. Today’s post is on a topic near and dear to my heart, which centers on the emotional work it takes to make a major life change. Going into the unknown is a scary thing, even if it is a work/pleasure trip to somewhere super awesome.

You should of seen us on our way down here. I wish I had taken a photo. You would have seen a wild and short tempered looking husband, defiant and entitled looking son, and a pouty princess with my daughter. We are normally pretty nice and calm people, however at the onset of this trip, our frazzled and overtired sides were abundant. During a pit stop at Burgerville (don’t judge~!), when we were seemly at our worst, I had a huge a-ha. It was at the point when I found myself pulling my son aside for a stern talking to, after he refused to eat his specially ordered hamburger, offended by the ketchup, that I realized all four of us were on the crazy with fear and fatigue. We have never taken a trip like this and we had no norms for how we operate as a traveling family unit.

During my guilt infused lecture to my son, while looking down at him and trying to make him feel like crap for acting entitled, especially since we were headed to touristy location where the locals lived with much less than us, I realized I was really just heaping a pile of crap on him because I too was scared. In that moment I was scared that he would embarrass me. I was scared that this trip we have worked so hard for would go badly. I was scared that this great life I have been courageously pursuing was going to fail.

So the lightbulb came on and I could see clearly again. We headed back to the table to the frustrated dad and the milkshake covered pouty princess and you know what I did? I laughed and I fell in love with all of us, once again. I laughed as my son continued to act badly and I laughed as we ate our messy junk food dinner. I apologized to my son for being freaky with him and let go of the worry of how we looked and were acting.

I was once given a life lesson from one of my teachers, which is that all choices are made from LOVE or from FEAR. At every moment we can look at what we are doing, and the choices we are making, and determine their root cause- am I motivated by love or fear? At the restaurant I could see that we were in all in a state of fatigue and fear. And when I recognized what was going on, I could make a decision to change my state. So, I started to act from love. I loved us as we were and let go of my fear of our failure.  And do you know what happened when I changed my state? You guessed it, everyone started acting different and for the better.

Did this post resonate with you sweet cheeks? Comment and let me know how you have seen the power acting out of love instead of fear.

 

With love,

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12 replies
  1. Kristen
    Kristen says:

    Love your honestly and passion, Marika. It’s funny how so much of our fear comes from how we will be viewed by others. Thanks for the reminder of to just let go and be ok with being flawed. Enjoy your vacation with your lovely family.

    P.S. I LOVE Burgerville!

    Reply
  2. Clare Capps
    Clare Capps says:

    Oh Marika,

    I can relate! I’m so happy that you had your a-ha moment at the beginning of your trip though. It’s truly amazing how YOU changing how YOU respond to the events around you can impact those around you. Thanks for sharing. Have a great time and soak up the sun and love!

    Reply
    • marikant
      marikant says:

      Thanks Clare! The best thing to report is that so far, that evening has been the only real blip. Everyone is relaxing and I’m loving working from the beach!!! Love to you!

      Reply
  3. Keiri Boggs
    Keiri Boggs says:

    Love it Marika… a good reminder and yes it sooo resonates. Thanks for being so honest!! So have been there. Might even live there more than I’d like! Cheers to Love and letting go!

    Reply
  4. Rose Schwehr
    Rose Schwehr says:

    Thanks for sharing. It reminds us to stop and enjoy those moments with our loved ones. Sometimes it takes the most highest stress to just laugh out loud and say I am sorry. Thank you!

    Reply
  5. Kasie
    Kasie says:

    Oh Marika I loved your post! And hope that by now, all four of you are totally blissed out and relaxing under a warm sunny sky! I can’t think of a single family trip we’ve taken, even the day trips, that don’t start out stressfully for one reason or another. You reminded me how important it is be that person that can take a step back, laugh and open so that others begin to do the same. Besos <3

    Reply
  6. Lauren
    Lauren says:

    I so related to this scene…I was always the “this is gonna be awesome, we should all be happy now” vacationer, and would become frustrated when everyone else was cranky and not as optimistic. Ah, reality. I loved how in the moment you Chose (capital “C”) to respond differently . Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and heart – it opens avenues for us to connect on these so very human experiences and glean from one another the courage to seek the higher road (or call upward;)).

    Reply

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