Do you pay attention to the way you talk to yourself? Do you tell yourself that you need to be better often?
Do you often think that if you were just better at managing your time, your food prep, and spending habits that you would finally arrive?
I’m not going to discount the power of impactful time management, a well designed meal and shopping plan, and good old fashioned budgeting. All those things are very important, but they are what I call positive side effects of a more important issue and that is self-talk.
I love the work I do. I get to be a participant in my client’s most powerful resource: their thought process. What amazes me the most about what I am seeing and hearing, is how much we (I’m going to include myself here) expect of ourselves and how much we beat ourselves up when we perceive our shortfalls.
It is rare to meet a woman who is not actively pursuing be a better woman- she wants to look and feel her best, and she is hard on herself when she doesn’t. She wants to be awesome at all her endeavors, be it at work, with her loved ones, her home, community, and the list goes on. She wants to feel savvy, humorous, sexy and also, like she is a great mom and caretaker of her loved ones and passions.
And in this active pursuit of awesomeness, she often forgets to slow down and actually take stock on how she is truly treating herself. She wants to be so much for so many, and is so easily caught in the thought process that she hasn’t been good enough. She hasn’t done enough.
And you know what? This intense feeling and voice in our head that says we are not enough is dangerous. It drives us to believe untrue things about ourselves and disintegrates our sense of worthiness. It prevents us from taking right actions towards our dreams. This voice tells us that because we are not good enough, we are not safe to ask for what we really want. We often end up drained and discouraged.
On the flip side, we have the power to be enough and to be worthy. We can take rockin’ good care of our bodies, schedule our time like a kung-fu master, give the right amount to others and still have something left, and spend, invest, and save money in expert fashion. Our ability to succeed, to become the person of our truest desires, begins with our mindset, our self-talk. What happens in our mind creates every action we take and do not take.
I know how we operate and that we are already accomplishing so much in our lives, yet these accomplishments will never be enough if we can’t get on top of what is happening in our heads.
How do we turn around self-defeating and thoughts of lack? It is simple, but it does take daily action. Everyday we need to take time to cultivate thoughts that promote personal power. Choose to think good thoughts. Notice when you are not, and make a choice to change that.
Here are my favorite ways to take care of my brain and get in the right frame of mind.
1. Gratitude journaling: You’ve likely heard of this, and likely you will continue too. The practice of gratitude has been coined the #1 habit that leads to a happy mind. Gratitude combats depressive thoughts, and opens us up to receive even more goodness. I like to really go for it, myself. I sit down and write down 10 different things for which I am grateful. I include what action I took to bring that good thing to me. 10 things is pretty challenging and takes some time, but it is so worth it… huge mind shifts! If I am short on time, I just do 3 items and that is definitely enough to get my positive thoughts flowin’.
2. Mirror talk: Yes, I talk to myself in the mirror. It works. I look myself in the eyes and say “You are worth it! I forgive you. I love you. I know you can succeed. You are worth it!” Sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit I know, but I’m telling you it makes a huge difference. As we age, our thought habits get so ingrained. Mirror talk helps reverse our negative thoughts and reminds us to be kind to ourselves.
3. Soul Stroll: I have to give Erin Stutland huge props for this activity. Take a walk, turn on music, and chant affirmations. It will make you feel amazing. You can even buy her 30 minute downloads, where she coaches you on affirmations and mantras. I love the ones she uses and am a proud owner of the MP3s Soul Stroll Volumes 1 and 2. You can also simply take a walk with the focus to clear your mind and fill it with positivity.
4. Essential Oils: I can’t believe I made it this far without mentioning the oils! Put a few drops of oils on your wrists, back of your neck, ears, or throat and say an affirmation. “I trust my own goodness” is one of my favorites. “I am safe, I am loved, and am actively pursuing my highest good” is another.
5. Friends, coaches, mentors: Another human, especially one that loves you and is actively committed to being positive and personal growth is an incredible tool. It is often said that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Choose the people you surround yourself with wisely and choose people who influence you in ways that support your growth and mindset.
I love sharing this important work with you. Let me know your thoughts.